Newport Moms Weekend

One of my best friends invited us to Newport for a little escape from Mom life and a weekend with the girls. Her boss owns a home there that we were able to stay in, and let me tell you, it was just what the doctor ordered. 

As I'm sure most Moms do, I always struggle with guilt when I go away for the weekend or any amount of time. I try to line up as much as I can (meals, activities, etc.) before leaving to make it easy on Andrew. I was feeling especially bad this time, because my parents were out of town and our nanny was busy so she couldn't give Andrew any breaks. It did help knowing Andrew has a guys weekend on the books (even though I'll have help while he's away since it's for a longer stretch). Eventually, we'll be able to travel together when it's not as much work taking care of our three boys, but for now we try to be supportive of one another and give each other some time away. 

As it turned out, Andrew managed just fine without me. I shouldn't be surprised, it's just a lot to manage 3 little ones solo. He even took them to the park once by himself, I was shocked, proud, and wondering when I'll work up the nerve to do that myself. 

As you know, this year I am trying to prioritize myself and filling my own cup, so I can show up as the best version of myself for my kids and Andrew. So, I tried to leave the guilt behind and truly enjoy myself and take the break I knew I needed. We had the best time, and I truly felt so refreshed afterwards. Ready to come back home and jump right into Mom mode. 

We had a great time. It was a perfect mix of relaxation, good food, shopping, lots of good wine and laughter. I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends that feel like family. I love that we're raising our kids together and building so many wonderful memories. On our last morning on Balboa, we ran into the cutest woman who was asking about our trip as we waited in line at a bakery. It turns out she and her best friends have been doing similar girls trips for more than 40 years. They all live around the country but meet in Aspen where they met when they were younger. She was so cute and said she got chills talking to us and said never lose what we have, it's special. Which, we all know already, but it's always fun to hear that from others and be reminded just how unique it is. It was the perfect interaction to end our time together. We're already planning our next girls trip in Scottsdale with the full gang! 

Some highlights from our weekend that stand out to me are sitting on the deck in the sunshine talking and laughing, walking on the beach, morning walks to get coffee, delicious food and flowing wine, and our evening on the deck enjoying our wine, watching a boat sink. True story! Thankfully it wasn't my friends boss' boat, but it was on their dock so we had front row seats. It caused quite the stir on the island and we were fascinated by the process of the workers trying to save it, then eventually realizing it was a total loss. 

I hope you all are able to find a tribe of friends like that if you don't have one already. And remember just how important it is to nourish these relationships. I am feeling refreshed and thankful after a fun-filled weekend! 

Our First Home

We purchased our home back in 2021, at the height of the housing market, after a brutal year long search for "the one." We were getting to the point in my pregnancy that we were going to pause the search, and pick up again after the twins arrived and we had settled into things a bit. But sure enough, after months and months of declined offers, we actually had two offers accepted the same day. We had looked at a nice home in Meadow Vista, a community I always thought I'd love to call home in the foothills. And another, in Granite Bay in a neighborhood that seemed great and had wonderful schools. Both were the same price. Meadow Vista was a nicer, updated home with a pool. But with fire insurance in that area, as well as location, it seemed like a risk for being at the top of our budget. Where as Granite Bay felt like a safe investment, and seemed like the better choice for our family. As much as I would love to be 15 minutes from my parents, I know we made the right choice in Granite Bay. 

It was but of a crazy situation, typically in that market we would have never gotten the house for asking price, but the circumstances with the sellers worked in our favor. We officially closed July 6, 2021. Just 9 days before we welcomed Jack & Charlie. Since we knew the twins were arriving soon, and we had to make some updates to the house since it wasn't in the best condition (it was worse than we realized) we planned to move at the end of August so we had a month to get the work done. 

A good, deep clean, removing a couple pony walls, removing glass block details, new carpets, all new interior paint, replacing carpet for tile in the primary bathroom, adding recessed lighting, and we were ready to move in. The list is long for things I'd like to do to make this home more updated and feel like us, but those changes made a huge impact and really helped freshen it up and make it feel like ours. 

Since we've been here a year and a half now, we've made a fair amount of changes, but I wanted to document an official "before" post of our home. These are the listing photos so the quality isn't great, but you get the idea. 

Here are the updates we did prior to moving in. Not too many changes, but enough to make a big difference and give us a blank slate. And most importantly, a CLEAN home since we'd having babies spending a lot of time on the floor that first year. 

Once we were living here, the top priorities were exterior paint and landscaping. In our first year we managed to update the paint and front yard landscape. Our neighbors would often stop and tell us how they loved the changes we were making and how nice it looked. (As you can imagine, now that you know where we started). Landscaping is shockingly expensive. As is everything these days, but I had no idea! So we were only able to do the front yard and very minor updates in the back while we save money. Hopefully this year we can do more DIY projects and continue to improve the backyard. Here is a little peek at those exterior changes, but I plan to share a full blog post soon. 

Eventually, I'll share a list of my dreams for each space and some inspiration photos. But for now, we save money and do small projects with a tiny budget and some elbow grease. 

Rent The Runway Membership

Last fall, I was influenced by one of my best friends to sign up for the Rent the Runway membership. I had always been interested in trying it, but hadn't taken the leap. With Fall being such a busy season with fun events, it was the perfect time to sign up. Plus, there was a coupon code for 40% off for 3 months.

It has been really fun, I've tried a few things I otherwise wouldn't have, and it always felt like I had a fun new outfit for events without the expense of buying something new. 

One of my goals for 2023 is to get ready for the day and put more time into feeling good about myself. And Rent the Runway has made this more fun! There is no harm in trying new trends because the worst that can happen is I don't wear an item from that shipment. I thought it would be fun to regularly share some outfits I've put together here to hold myself accountable for my goal to get ready more often. 

Here is a collection of some outfits and favorite pieces I've rented so far.

I'm working on a Reel with my favorite jackets I've rented as well, so stay tuned for that. I have found that I love renting jackets and end up wearing them several times. 

With Valentines Day coming up, I've added a few of these to my favorites to rent next month. So many cute items I wouldn't necessarily buy, but make getting dressed more fun. If you want to sign up, you can sign up here for 40% off your first two months. 

Highlights of 2022

What a year! Honestly, most of 2022 is a blur. We started the year with almost 6 month old twins, at the end of my maternity leave, trying to finish unpacking the boxes from moving, and getting settled into a routine. The first six months of 2022 were mostly spent at home, trying to figure out what our new normal was, poking our head out into the world in what felt like "safe" activities. Going from one to three kids post pandemic is a lot as a parent, and Andrew and I definitely felt the pressure. 

But in the spring, and definitely by summer and fall, we felt the fog start to lift. That first year postpartum I'm in a daze, just on auto pilot. It's definitely a surviving not thriving type of situation. But by summer I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt like we were no longer tethered to the house as the brothers started taking less bottles (ie less pumping), fewer naps, and we got more and more comfortable leaving the house. 

Here is a snapshot of our year and some photos from the highlights. We're so very thankful for our home, healthy family, and amazing group of friends that feel like family. We're looking forward to all that 2023 has in store for us, and feeling thankful for the memories of 2022. 

January - Still getting comfortable in our new home. My maternity leave ended, and our new nanny Devon joined our family. 

February - more time at home, venturing out for dinner at Mimi & Papa's and places that felt "safe" and we had extra hands for brothers.

March - This was a big month for Mom. Gamma and Auntie came to help Daddy while Mom went on a weekend away with her closest girlfriends. Everyone survived, even with a trip to the doctor and an ear infection for Graham. But it was a wonderful escape and Mom returned feeling refreshed. 

April - Celebrating birthdays, Easter and spending time with friends.

May - Mothers Day was one of our first "big" outings. Thankfully there were a lot of helping hands. Graham had the most fun of everyone. He LOVES live music and continues to talk about the band at the winery 7 months later. He swears when Chris Stapleton comes on, he was the one at the winery, and Might As Well Get Stoned was likely on our Spotify top song for the year.  

June - Swimming and enjoying our friends

July - Our first big trip as a family of 5, and our First Annual Friend Vacation. We went to the Russian River for a week. The house was a little more rustic than we anticipated, and it was A LOT of kids and adults for the space. We lovingly referred to it as camping. But it was the best time with our framily and memories made. 

August - We started in Donner for the resurgence of Playgroup Campout, the next generation. It was wonderful and I look forward to bringing back that tradition. Next up, was our annual Tuolumne Meadows trip with Mimi & Papa. While we miss the Tuolumne Meadows campground, we've been lucky to get a site just outside the park the past two years. We hope they finish the updates to the campground as soon as possible so we can bring back our mornings in the meadow. This year was extra special because Graham hiked up Lembert Dome all by himself! And Mom & Dad each carried a brother in the backpack, so all 5 of us could enjoy one of our very favorite places. This weekend was a highlight for me. Not only because the place and time with my parents is so special. But because I was really nervous for this trip, and it was so successful. I think my low expectations really helped, and it made for a wonderful and memorable weekend. 

September - This month was dedicated to my parents 50th wedding anniversary! Such a special milestone. We spent time planning and preparing for a wonderful party in their honor, surrounded by family and friends from their years together. The most inspiring and loving couple I know. We also spent a weekend in Tahoe with friends right on the lake. Graham had a blast and parents enjoyed the chaos with a beautiful backdrop. 

October - Kicking off the best time of year, I love all the fun fall festivities. Our favorite Larson Family Winery Harvest Party with friends, Apple Hill,  my birthday, our annual pumpkin carving party, and our wonderful neighborhood Halloween parade and trick or treating. We love where we live and are so happy we get to share those events with our friends. 

November - We brought back Friendsgiving this year! While it looks very different than the original years (you can see those here) it was lovely to have our friends here at our house to celebrate the season. We also had a lovely Thanksgiving at my parents house. While I really missed our larger family group, I was so happy to have a holiday reminiscent of my childhood years I loved, especially after two years spending the holiday without any family at all. While there have been some really difficult family dynamics the past few years, it felt really good for a moment to think it might all be behind us. I was glad to have that day at Mimi & Papa's and for Graham to have some time with his cousins he rarely sees. 

December - The hustle and bustle of Christmas was a magical blur. We fit in so many wonderful traditions both old and new. Graham loves Christmas as much as I do, probably more. And I live for making the holiday extra special for him. Advent calendar activities, special outings, Santa visits, The Polar Express, family cookie decorating, long Gamma visits, it's all so special. 

Even during the hard parts, when Andrew and I felt so overwhelmed and questioned how we'd make it, looking back I can see it was a special year for our family. We made some wonderful memories with friends and family, and I know our boys felt loved and safe. What more could I ask for?

Now that the fog has lifted from the newborn days with Jack & Charlie, and we're more settled in our routine as a family of 5, I'm excited for 2023 and what is in store for us. 

Goals for 2023

I don't know if you want to call them New Year Resolutions, but I have been thinking a lot about my goals for the upcoming year. As I mentioned, the culmination of the past several years I've felt like I've lost a bit of myself. I've been in a rut and almost paralyzed by not knowing how to move forward and change things. 

During the last few months of 2022, I spent time reading books and trying to find ways to figure out how to bring myself back, so to speak. So I've declared that 2023 will be the year I figure out who I am, not only as a mother, but an individual. I want to prioritize myself so that I can show up as the best version of me for my family. 

On one hand it can be overwhelming to put pen to paper with a big list of goals, but it can also help keep us accountable. I think that creating habits (using methods from the book Atomic Habits, which I loved) will help set me up for success. I know that no one is stopping me from reaching my goals except me. No one is going to come do the work for me, and in a year from now I will be so proud of myself for following through. 

So without further ado, here are my goals for 2023 - 

Prioritize my health - I'm 37 now, and I'm realizing how important my health is. I want to be here for a long time for my kids and my family. Since I became pregnant with Jack & Charlie, I basically gave up on my health. Besides walks, very limited exercise besides bursts of motivation for a week or two throughout the year. And while pumping late nights, I made snacking habits that I have continued with now 6 months since I've stopped breastfeeding. Beyond my weight being the highest it's been, I am mostly concerned with feeling better. I know the benefits of weight loss will be rewarding, but I'm most looking forward to feeling better. More energy, better skin, sleeping better, improved mood. All of which will make me a better Mom. 

Positive Self Talk - I have always struggled with putting myself down and having low self esteem. I know a lot of that has to do with the way I think about, and talk about myself. I want to focus on affirmations, learning to love myself, and believe in myself. I think it will have profound effects on so many aspects of my life. And I want my boys to remember a joyful, happy mom. 

Parenting -  I want to continue to grow as a parent and prioritize the best way to show up for our boys. I spend a lot of time reading and learning about gentle parenting; how to react during those difficult moments of frustration, reminding myself to have realistic expectations for their behavior, and generally how to not totally screw up my kids lol. But I know I have room for improvement. And I'd specifically like to read more about raising boys to be respectful, empathetic, and kind humans. 

Nurture our marriage - I'd like to make more time for Andrew and I, prioritize date nights and putting our relationship first. 

Back to blogging - Stop letting fear hold me back and chase my dreams. I have big goals and I am working on creating systems to help make sure I follow through. 

Home - Since Jack and Charlie were only 5 weeks when we moved to our home, it took literally a year to even finish unpacking and start to organize. Many walls remain empty and while we made huge improvements last year outside with our front yard landscaping and exterior paint, inside it doesn't feel cozy to me. I'd like to make our house feel like home, and on a budget! 

Simplify home - On that same note, I want to simplify, declutter and organize our house. We're in a stage with a lot of toys and things, but I know we can find a better way to organize it so it feels less chaotic. I read about how your space being messy can make anxiety and overwhelm worse, and I know that is the case with our home. When it's clean and tidy I can literally feel the difference. I want to simplify and get rid of A LOT of stuff so it feels easier to maintain, and I think it will help the kids feel less overwhelmed with all the toys and they may play more independently. 

Photos - I take a million photos, I have something like 70,000 pictures on my phone. I desperately need to prioritize my photo storage and organization. I also want to catch up on photo books so all these memories are tangible and will stand the test of time. Already the boys love looking at old photo books and sadly I haven't made a single one since Jack and Charlie were born! 

Less TV - Andrew and I tend to watch a lot of TV in the evenings. And while I love that time and relaxing after the chaos of the 4-7pm witching hour, I know there is better use of that time. The feeling of accomplishment will far outweigh the few hours of watching TV and mindlessly scrolling my phone. 

Read - I want to start reading before bed again. These days I get into bed too late after watching TV. I've been doing a lot of audio books, but I'd like to make time for reading more fiction before bed.

Atomic habits - As mentioned, I read this book (twice) and I want to implement a lot of the tools so that I can successfully achieve these goals. 

So, here's to 2023. May it be the year I fall in love with myself, the journey and all the little moments life has to offer. 

Back to Blogging

 

Here I am again, always coming back to this space when I crave creativity and something for myself. The past few years have been quite the journey. From the pandemic, some difficult family dynamics, finding out we were having twins, buying a house, moving with newborn twins, then navigating the first year postpartum with twins and a toddler, it's been a lot.  

One consistent regret I often think about is quitting blogging. A lot of the 'blog friends' I made during the time I was consistently posting here, in the early blog days, are now successful influencers doing this as their job. While the path I took has given me a beautiful life I always wanted, I do find myself wondering where I would be if I hadn't stopped. For a couple years now I've found myself pulled to return to blogging, I think about it all the time. It's not that I don't know what to share, I'm drowning in ideas of what to post. The truth is that I'm scared. Mostly the fear of what people will think of me, or say about me. And also the fear of failure. But I think I am to the point now, where I've learned I would rather embarrass myself than always regret not trying, and question "what if?" 

So let's do this. 2023 is going to be the year of me. I've sort of lost myself in the past few years and I'm ready to figure out who I am now. Who am I as a mother, but also who am I as an individual. I am hopeful that spending time on something that is just for me, that brings me joy and fills my cup, will help remind me of who I am and lead me to who I am meant to become. I feel that I've lost a bit of the sparkle I once had, the joy and the zest for life. So here's to finding that again this year. I'd love to have you along for the ride.