Wedding Wednesday: Things to Consider When Choosing A Venue

Of course the first thing you'll need to consider is the budget. Does the venue match what you're hoping to spend on a venue? Think about what is included and be sure to keep in mind additional costs. As I mentioned last week, I absolutely loved the barn we toured but it was slightly more than we hoped to spend. And when we considered the additional costs that would come with choosing that venue, we ultimately decided it was out of our budget.

Another important thing to consider is the location of your venue. Does it require any special form of transportation? Part of the reason we decided against the barn venue was because it was quite a long drive from the town our wedding guests would be staying in. This meant that we would have to arrange for a bus or shuttles to transport them from hotels. Because of the additional cost and coordination, we decided against it. If the location is somewhere that most guests will likely drive to, it's also important to ask about parking. Depending on the size of your wedding, you may need parking attendants.

I would suggest working on a guest list before you start looking at wedding venues. It would be tragic to find the venue of your dreams, only to discover they are unable to accommodate the size of your guest list. We knew we wanted to invite about 150 people to our wedding, which was the maximum for our venue. It was so hard narrowing down our guest list to make sure we stayed under than 150 mark. In hindsight, I would have invited more than 150 people, because of course not everyone can come. Even those who RSVP yes, often don't make it for unforeseen circumstances.

This is another big one that can impact your venue budget. We were lucky to find a place that included the tables and chairs for both the ceremony and reception. This was important to us because we didn't want anyone to have to worry about moving chairs between the ceremony and reception. (This would have been an issue at another venue we toured). In the beginning, I had planned to use their tables, but rent chairs that were more in line with my style. However, as we got further along in the planning process, we realized how much chair rentals would add to the overall venue cost, and had to eliminate them. I was so disappointed at first, but now I realize no one really notices the type of chairs you have. Other additional costs to remember are linens, glassware, utensils (unless your caterer provides them) furniture, decor, etc. All these little things add up.

If you have specific vendors you hope to use for Catering, DJ or Photography it's important to find out if the venue you choose has any restrictions on that. Often times, they will only allow you to use their "preferred vendors" which can limit your options. It's also worth asking if they allow you to bring your own alcohol. This can be a huge money saver and was part of the reason we chose our venue. They didn't have restrictions on alcohol so we were able to get kegs from a local brewery and source our own wine at Costco and BevMo. We were able to save a substantial amount of money because of this. And our caterer was included a bar tender with her staff, so we didn't have to worry about serving either.

Think about the overall theme you want for your wedding day. Are you going for a rustic and vintage feel? If so, a barn or outdoor venue may be perfect for you. Are you wanting a glamorous wedding? A classic hotel ballroom may suit your needs. For us, we wanted to create a romantic and classic day to share with family and friends. We both knew we wanted to get married outside, and the landscaping at Gold Hill Gardens sold us. It was beautifully maintained and with only a few personalized signs and decor items, we were able to create a romantic garden wedding.

Another important thing to remember is privacy and noise. This was important to us because we wanted a intimate wedding with our family and friends. One venue we toured was near a busy highway and a few motorcycles drove by when we were there. I wouldn't have thought about noise if that didn't happen so I'm glad it did. It would have been so distracting during the ceremony and of course it is something totally out of your control. The venue we chose was in a rural area, set back from the road on the property. There was no car noise and no risk of people "crashing" the wedding (although someone did)!  If your ceremony & reception is indoors, noise may not be a concern. But privacy is something to consider.

One thing we knew right away is that we wanted to have both the ceremony and reception at the same location. We didn't want our guests to worry about driving to another location, and that way we could have a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception while we finished family photos. We only toured venues that could accommodate our wishes, which I think was beneficial. I'd recommend deciding beforehand what your venue needs are. This way, you don't waste time touring locations that ultimately won't work for you.

Since our ceremony and reception were at the same location, it was important the there was good flow between each area. This was something that our venue really knocked out of the park. Their landscaping is done so well, including pathways connecting each area. With the signs, it was easy to for guests to determine the ceremony location when they arrived. And there was a path that went from the ceremony site down to the cocktail reception and bar area. It was great because the cocktail party and bar area was lower than the ceremony site and reception tables and dance floor, so it felt like a completely different space. Almost like individual rooms. If both your ceremony and reception are at the same location, it would be helpful to have separate spaces like this.

We were having an outdoor only wedding, and took a risk by not having any sort of "plan B" because our venue didn't have any indoor space. They could however accommodate a large tent, so if the forecast changed to include rain, we would have been able to rent a tent and make do. Thankfully, the weather in our area is pretty reliable and we knew rain wouldn't be an issue. However, September can be HOT so that was a concern. Because of the heat, we made sure to ask about where the sun would be during our reception time, and if there were shady spots for the ceremony. As it turned out, the forecast was predicting temperatures over 100* on our wedding day. To say I panicked was an understatement. My sweet friend bought fans that we placed by the beverages at the ceremony site. That way guests could fan themselves during the ceremony. The cocktail area was shaded and near the pool which helped keep it cool. And thankfully, the venue set up sun umbrellas over the dinner tables that were quickly removed once the sun went down. I never even saw it happen! Thankfully, it only ended up being in the upper 80's and low 90's on our wedding day! If you're getting married in the spring or fall, when there is a chance of rain, it's important to ask what options the venue offers if that were to happen. Or, if you have a situation like we did where heat could be a factor, try to think of solutions to make your guests more comfortable.

Something I didn't think to ask about was outlets and access to electricity. This is especially important for the DJ and microphones during the ceremony. Our venue had two ceremony sites, I originally wanted to have the ceremony near an old oak tree, but there was no electricity available for the DJ. This was obviously really important both for our music, but it's such a bummer to be at a wedding when can't hear the ceremony. You'll also want to ask about where the DJ or band can set up and if there is enough power for their equipment.

With an outdoor wedding like ours, it's important to consider lighting. One of my favorite things about our reception area were the cafe lights. It created the romantic feel I was hoping for, and was just enough light for dinner. As it got darker, the DJ also had lighting for the dance floor so it never felt too dark. The venue also had the bar area and pathways lit very well, which made it easier for guests to get around. If you are planning to get married outdoors at a private residence or park, you may want to consider renting lights. And keep in mind the added cost this would incur.

I hope you find these tips helpful! I feel like I went in to our venue tours blind, without really knowing what questions to ask. Thankfully, most places are prepared and offer almost all the information you need on their own. But of course, some things are specific to each couple. Making sure you address all these items before signing on the dotted line and putting a deposit down on your venue can save you a lot of money on rentals in the long run. It's amazing how many little things come up, which ultimately affects the bottom line. 

I hope you enjoyed this installment of Wedding Wednesday! I'd love to hear your input and experiences finding the right wedding venue!  

Wedding Wednesday: Choosing A Venue

I think if I had to chose one thing from our wedding as my favorite (besides marrying Andrew in the presence of our family and friends, obviously) it would be our wedding venue. I am in LOVE with it. But, it did take a little convincing for me. Andrew knew right away, the venue had so many awesome perks, but there was another venue I really loved as well. I am SO glad I saw the light and we decided on Gold Hill Gardens. It was the best decision we ever could have made.

Since Andrew and I decided pretty quickly we wanted to get married in the fall, we knew we needed to start searching for a venue right away. We didn't have a specific date in mind, which was helpful for us with a shorter engagement. We also knew we would most likely get married in the foothills near where I grew up. I looked at a few venues in the Bay Area, but they are all quite expensive. We also knew that getting married near Auburn, where my family is connected within the community, we would have opportunities to work with vendors we knew and trusted. So once we had officially decided on the general location for our wedding, we could start scouting venues.

After talking about things and looking at Pinterest, it was clear we both wanted an outdoor wedding with only one location. Meaning, we didn't want our guests to drive somewhere different for the reception after the ceremony.

I had always dreamt about getting married at a place called the Empire Mine where I had gone many times growing up. Andrew and I had even gone for a hike on the grounds once, so I knew he liked it too. But when I contacted them I found out they were totally booked for 2015, and 2016 would be based on a lottery. Since it wasn't even a sure thing we'd get that venue the following year, we decided not to wait and continued our search. (You can see photos of the venue here / here/ here).

The first venue we toured was called the Monte Verde Inn in Foresthill. It was great because Andrew's Mom was visiting, so we could have both our Mom's with us on our first venue tour. It was a really cute place that had a lot of the charm and aesthetic we were looking for, but it was just too small for our guest list. (You can see photos of the venue here / here).

Next, we stopped to look at Newcastle Wedding Gardens. The grounds here were beautiful, but I just didn't get a good feeling about working with the owner. She had very specific taste that didn't align with mine. Plus, it was an all-inclusive type venue so I had a feeling, everything she had to include wouldn't be what I wanted. And it had more of a cowboy/country feel which doesn't fit our personality. As it turns out, a friend of mine ended up getting married there last fall, and it was beautiful, but she did say the owner was hard to work with at times. So I was really happy I went with my instinct on that. (You can see photos of the venue here / here).

We briefly looked at a winery outside of Auburn called Dono dal Cielo, but quickly realized it wasn't the place for us. They weren't set up for weddings so we would have to bring everything ourselves and the rental costs would have been quite high. But when we were there, the woman who showed us around mentioned a place right around the corner that she said we had to see. In fact, she was getting married there the following weekend! Luckily, we already had an appointment there for the very next day.

After the excellent review the day before, I was really looking forward to our tour of Gold Hill Gardens in Newcastle. It was a beautiful setting and close to Auburn, making it easier for our guests. As soon as we arrived I knew it was a big contender for our venue. The grounds were beautiful and it was obvious the owners are passionate about their property. There is a beautiful house they run as a Bed & Breakfast that would be available for the night of the wedding. There were two beautiful ceremony locations as well as a gorgeous pad for the reception and a bar and pool area for cocktail hour. It felt like a secret garden, we loved the property. Andrew especially loved the games, pool area, ceremony site and idea of hosting our rehearsal dinner there. I knew from our tour, that was absolutely Andrew's first choice.

Our next venue tour that day would be very different. I had gone back and forth about wanting a barn wedding, with rustic and vintage touches (looking back this is so weird to me, I just can't imagine anything besides our wedding venue). And as it turned out, my cousin and brother in law keep their cattle on the property of a place with a gorgeous barn that does weddings from time to time. When I saw the first picture of the barn, I became obsessed. And when we were finally able to go out and tour the property, it was even better in person. But there were a few red flags and the price was a little more than what we wanted to spend. (You can see photos of the venue here / here / here).

We had easily narrowed it down to Gold Hill Gardens and the Barn venue, but after talking with Andrew and my parents, it was clear what our venue would be. As much as I loved that barn, there were too many factors that would add cost and stress with that venue. Looking back, I am so thankful I could recognize that. Because at the time, I was definitely a bit blinded by the amazing barn. Which is funny, because it doesn't seem like "me" at all in hindsight. After we had made our decision, we quickly put down our deposit for Gold Hill Gardens on September 12, 2015.

There are too many things I loved about our venue to count. But for me, one reason I knew it was the perfect place was that we could rent the Bed & Breakfast night before the wedding for a reasonable price, so that after the rehearsal I could stay there with my bridesmaids. They would make us breakfast and we could spend the morning getting ready together. Another huge perk was the ability to host our rehearsal dinner onsite. We were able to throw a pool party & BBQ for our rehearsal with our close friends and family. It was just perfect.

These are the photos I took on our walk through (it was set up for another wedding), as you can see it's an amazing place! We received countless compliments on the venue, and I am so glad we got married in such a special place.

Wedding Wednesday: 10 Things You Should Know Before Shopping For A Wedding Dress

Last week on Wedding Wednesday, I shared with you the details of my experience shopping for a wedding dress. It was quite the ordeal, and I'm so happy I was able to work through it and find the perfect dress for me. It was an exhausting and stressful experience, but in the process I learned a lot. Some of this advice was given to me before I tried on a single gown, but I wish I had listened a little more carefully and really taken it to heart. I promise, if you keep these 10 tips in mind, you'll have a much less stressful shopping experience than I did!

1. Go in with an open mind - This is the most important tip I have for you. Try not to be too specific about the style of dress you want. Or if you do, be open to at least trying on every style to see if something surprises you. During my dress ordeal, I worried I should have bought a princess style dress or had sleeves. I hadn't tried on a single princess style dress to even know if I liked it or if the style was flattering on my body type. This allowed me to waste too much time over-thinking things. If you try on a wide variety of dresses, even ones you think you hate, you can be confident in the dress you decide to purchase.
2. Consider your budget before shopping - It's important to have an idea of what you want to spend before you shop. The stylists will ask you right away (maybe even when you book the appointment) so they don't pull any dresses out of your budget for you to try on. In once case, the stylist said she had a dress that she thought was similar to what I was looking for, but it was a few hundred dollars out of my budget, so she didn't want to show me unless I was okay with that. Most of the time they are very respectful of this, so you don't fall in love with something you can't afford. That said, if the dress is your number one priority for the Big Day, maybe you're okay spending more. If there is a dress that you absolutely love and can't stop thinking about, consider rearranging your wedding budget and making compromises so that it's possible. Spend less on favors, or don't have a photo booth to make up the difference in cost. 
3. When you know, you know" might not apply - As I mentioned last week, when my sister tried on "the dress" everyone cried. She had an emotional reaction and knew it was the dress for her. You see similar stories in movies or on "Say Yes To The Dress" but please know, that may not happen for everyone. And that is okay! I didn't have a moment when I knew my dress was "the one," which I struggled with for a while. I wondered if I hadn't tried on the perfect dress for me. But I look back on the pictures from our wedding and remember how beautiful I felt that day, and I the dress I wore reflected my personal style. 
4. Don't let anyone pressure you - One of my biggest lessons from dress shopping was that the stylists at every salon will pressure you about ordering as soon as possible. They will tell you that your dress might not arrive on time, or you won't have time for alterations no matter how many weeks you have until the wedding. They want to secure the sale! Take your time, remember this is a big investment and you want to make the right choice. I was worried my dress wouldn't arrive in time for alterations so I paid a $100 rush fee, and it arrived a month sooner than they told me it would. People plan weddings in two or three months all the time, trust me, you will find a dress! 
5. Choose your shopping guests wisely - For me, I really wanted my Mom to be a part of this experience with me. I just couldn't imagine doing it without her. For a while I thought we weren't going to be able to align our schedules, but thankfully it worked out. I also wanted to invite my friend Erica because she was married and could offer advice from her own experience. And also because she in honest, but not too honest. I am sure there were dresses I tried on that she didn't love, but she made sure I felt beautiful in all of them. She offered great advice through my entire dress dilemma, and I was so happy to have her guidance. You don't want someone that is overly opinionated or rude. It's already an exhausting experience, so you want to surround yourself with people who give good feedback and most importantly, make it fun!
6. Listen to your gut - If you try on a dress that your mother or best friend absolutely loves, that doesn't mean it's the one for you. My sister and my Mom both told me the preferred the dress I ended up returning, but I knew that I had to follow my instincts and buy the dress that felt like "me." The one I would love wearing on my wedding day. You don't want any regrets, you're the bride and it's your opinion that matters! 
7. Take your time - Don't worry about timing or let yourself feel rushed by appointments. If you need to go back and try on dresses a second time, that is perfectly okay! Don't feel like you need to fall in love with the very first dress you try on. It's a big investment, and it takes time to make the decision and feel confident about your choice. You may need to go to five different boutiques and try on countless dresses like me, but you will find the one you're looking for!
8. Try on accessories - Even if you don't want a veil, sash, or statement jewelry, try on different pieces that your family, friends or the stylists suggests. You might surprise yourself and end up loving something. I never thought I wanted to wear a veil, but I felt like a true bride the first time the stylist put one on me. I loved it, and ended up with a cathedral veil on our wedding day. I also learned I definitely did not want a belt or sash! 
9. Take Pictures - I know that some bridal salons don't allow photos, which I don't understand. I would suggest avoiding those locations. Since I struggled so much with deciding on a wedding dress, the pictures were SO helpful once I left the bridal salon. I could go back and look at different dresses to remind myself how I felt in them and what I liked or disliked about each one. 
10. Don't get caught up with Pinterest & trends - One thing I struggled with was the the black hole of Pinterest. While it can be so inspiring and give you amazing ideas for wedding decor, color palettes, dress styles, rings, and beyond. It can also cause you to second guess your instincts and decisions you've already made. Remember to be true to yourself so your wedding reflects your personal style. If long sleeve lace gowns are all the rage, but you prefer a a princess cut, wear that! You want to feel like the best version of yourself on your wedding day.

Married ladies, what do you think of these tips? Do you have any to add? And for you brides out there, good luck! Shopping for a wedding dress is a once in a lifetime experience, soak up every minute!

Wedding Wednesday: Dress Shopping

 

This week for wedding wednesday I thought I would walk you through my experience shopping for a wedding dress. One of my first experiences dress shopping was for my sister about 6 years ago. We went over the Thanksgiving holiday with the women in our family, and everyone cried the moment she tried on "the dress." It was just like that magical experience you see in the movies. I had also been with two of my girlfriends when they were searching for their wedding dress. It was so fun to participate and fawn over how beautiful she looked while sipping champagne. But because of the memorable experience we had with my sister, I had this fantasy in my head of what shopping for my dress would be like. But things went a bit differently for me...

To start, you should know about me that I over-think everything. I analyze details and always want things to be just so. Sometimes this works in my favor, but when it came to choosing a wedding dress on a budget, it made things really stressful.

Before I stepped foot into a bridal salon, I spent many hours on Pinterest looking at dresses to determine the type of dress I wanted to wear. I knew exactly what I wanted. I absolutely didn't want a strapless dress, I knew I wanted a mermaid silhouette and lace details. My friend Erica had gotten married the year before, and gave me lots of tips. She suggested to go in with an open mind, and try on different styles and be open to anything. I wish I had listened more carefully to her advice.

It was really important for my Mom to be with my when I first tried on dresses, so we picked a weekend that worked for us and I booked a few appointments over in Walnut Creek so she could be there. It happened that Andrew's mom was visiting that weekend so she came along, as well as my friend and bridesmaid, Erica. It was such a fun day, we went to lunch and I tried on dresses at three different boutiques. It was a great first day of shopping and gave me an idea of what I liked and what I didn't. Apparently, I have very particular taste. I loved a lot of dresses, but wasn't ready to choose one just yet. I learned that I loved the mermaid style for my body type, that I really liked lace "eyelashes" and solid lace dresses (as opposed to lace flowers or pattern details) and that I did not like belts or seams at the waist. I also discovered that although I never wanted a strapless, I was finding that the straps made me feel short where as the strapless styles made me feel long and lean.

The following day, Erica and I went down to the South Bay for another day of shopping. We met Shannon and Laura (also bridesmaids) since they live in the area. We had appointments at two salons and lunch in Campbell. Our first stop was at Trudy's, this was fun because Erica and I have watched to Bachelor together for years, and Desiree Hartsock was there promoting the wedding dress collection she helped design. After lunch, or next stop was at Haute Bride. Here I tried on one of my favorite dresses, and I almost purchased it that day, but for some reason I wasn't ready to pull the trigger.

I had a great weekend shopping, but didn't find "the one" just yet. I was getting a little concerned because none of the locations had the dress I really wanted to try on (Lioncarlo 4861) but everyone kept telling me that I needed to place my order soon to ensure my dress arrived in time for alterations before our September 12th wedding (lies!!)

I was feeling overwhelmed about ordering in time, finding a dress I loved, and the budget. So I decided to go dress shopping alone on my way home from a bachelorette party. Not sure why I EVER thought that was a good idea. I ended up finding a dress in Santa Rosa that I liked, and it was really cheap. So I bought the dress without really thinking too much about it. But within a few days, I started having buyers remorse. I went back and forth for weeks about what to do. I couldn't stop thinking about a couple of the dresses I had tried on those first two days, and I was still dreaming of the Lioncarlo 4861.

My mom came to the rescue (as they do) and met me in Walnut Creek again so we could spend another day trying on dresses and comparing them to the one I had purchased. I was also able to try on the Lioncarlo dress. Unfortunately, it was really small so I had a hard time deciding if it actually looked good on me. And since it was out of my budget, I didn't allow myself to fall in love with it. After trying on dresses again, it was pretty clear I regretted my initial decision. Thankfully, the store I purchased from was kind enough to let me cancel my order and I only lost a couple hundred dollars. I realize that is a lot of money, but I was relieved. Finally, I decided to go ahead and purchase a dress I had tried on that first day in Walnut Creek. It was the most gorgeous thick, vintage lace with pearls all the way down the back of the dress. I felt like it flattered my body type and the lace was beautiful and unique.

I wish I could say my story ended here, but it doesn't. You would think after buying this beautiful dress, I would be ecstatic. But my anxiety about the dress didn't dissipate. Originally, I was adamant about not having a strapless dress. And here I was, with a strapless dress. I started searching for bolero tops or solutions to make my dress have sleeves or provide a little coverage for the ceremony. Then I started wondering if I should have gotten a big, princess dress. I didn't even try one on, how could I know that wasn't "the one" I would have fallen in love with? This is when I should have backed away from Pinterest. I would spend hours obsessing over it, thinking I had the wrong dress again. Thankfully a good friend offered me the best advice. She said, once your wedding has come and gone, it won't matter. It will be your dress, and you won't think about the other ones you considered. This really resonated with me and allowed me to feel better about my decision.

Looking back, I do love the dress I wore on our wedding day, my dress. I felt beautiful, it was comfortable and even though it was strapless I think it looked classic and elegant. I don't think it's something I will be embarrassed to show my grandchildren someday. As I write this post, it seems so silly that I was so consumed with stress about something so trivial. But I guess that's just me, over-thinking everything.

I thought, with my wedding dress shopping experience, I definitely have advice to offer any brides out there looking for their perfect dress. I hope that my story can help make someone else dealing with similar stress and anxiety feel better, or hopefully prevent any other brides from going through something like I did. I hope most of you have had, or will have a similar experience to my sister and just know you've found the right one!

Next week on Wedding Wednesday, I'll be sharing my top 10 tips to make wedding dress shopping as stress free as possible!

This is the Lioncarlo 4861 that I was (am) obsessed with!

The dress I finally decided on! 

The dress I almost purchased at Haute Bride on shopping day #2

The first dress I purchased and ended up returning

Finally tried on the Lioncarlo 4861 - sadly it was out of my price range

Back at Kinsley James with my Mom to try this dress on again and decide for sure if it was THE dress, it was!

My Dress